Thinking of You
by Blue forget-me-not
Summary: Alanna and Jon wonder about their relationship and wonder what went wrong. R&R please. Song-fic. One-shot


Be nice, please. I've had a horrible case of writer's block, so this is the first thing I've written in almost a year. I changed a few things to suit the plot. If you want a reply to your review*hint hint* leave your email address. If you don't leave it then I'll assume that you don't want a reply. I would appreciate ways on how to get the italics to work. I'm using * to indicate song lyrics.  
  
Dedication: For Luna (September 30th, 2003- November 28th, 2003). You were the inspiration I needed.  
  
Disclaimer: I own neither the song nor the characters. I just own the plot.  
  
Thinking of You  
  
*Living my life in a slow hell  
  
Different girl every night at the hotel  
  
I ain't seen the sunshine in three damn days*  
  
Prince Jonathon of Conté stormed down the hall, silently fuming. Life hadn't been the same since the fight with Alanna in the desert. To make himself try to get over her, he had courted a different girl each day, trying to find a better replacement. None of them measured up to Alanna. They were all flatterers and backstabbers. The only games the court ladies could play were the ones that made them rise in favor of the king and queen. They only liked him for his crown. Jon was starting to believe that Alanna was the only girl who will ever see him for who he really was.  
  
Out of anger and despair, he rarely came out of his room. If he did, it was only at night. Jon had heard the courtiers whispering of his surliness, but he didn't care about what they thought of him. For one of the few times in his life, he only cared about what one soul person thought of him.  
  
*Been fueling up on cocaine and whiskey*  
  
Jon spent most of his time sleeping or sending the servants out for rum. He was a wreck, but he could face the outside world, not yet. It was too bad George was out somewhere. He could really use some of his advice, or maybe even a drinking partner.  
  
*Wish I had a good girl to miss me  
  
Oh I wonder if I'll ever change my ways*  
  
Each breath he took, reminded him of her. Jon really wanted someone to love. He'd change for Alanna. He'd go to the edge of the world and back for her. It was too bad it took him this long to realize it. Alanna was out of his reach. Besides, he couldn't change. He needed to act right for the kingdom. He needed to straighten up for his people. He had done the right thing. That was what his head said.  
  
"If this is the right thing," Jon whispered "Then why do I feel so bad?'  
  
*I put your picture away  
  
Sat down and cried today*  
  
Jon closed his blood-shot eyes in remorse. He had just found a tiny portrait he had bought of Alanna. It showed her from the shoulders up. There was a beautiful smile on her face. Her coppery locks were brushed out so they skimmed her shoulders and her violet eyes were alight with joy. Jon had never seen her look happier.  
  
He let out a small groan as he stared at it. How could he of lost someone so perfect? He had to get rid of this picture. If he saw it again he would break down. Jon walked over to his desk and buried it under some papers in one of the drawers. After he did that, Jon slumped down on the floor and let a few tears slide down his cheeks.  
  
*I can't look at you  
  
While I'm lying next to her  
  
I put your picture away  
  
Sat down and cried today  
  
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her*  
  
Jon's mother was worried. He couldn't let her suffer anymore. That was what he told himself a week ago when he hid Alanna's picture. He couldn't let her see him like this, even though the picture wasn't her and didn't have eyes. He couldn't look at her anyway. The best thing for him to do was to forget about her.  
  
Jon finally arrived at the throne room. His mother had informed him that she had a surprise for him. The sight in the throne room made him freeze momentarily. There was a beautiful women standing next to his mother.  
  
"This is Princess Josiane," murmured Lianne, smiling at only son. "She will be staying with us for awhile."  
  
Jon smiled at her and asked her to dance. He needed to do anything to keep Alanna off his mind. He had a feeling that Josiane would do the trick.  
  
*I called you last night in the hotel  
  
Everyone knows but they won't tell  
  
But their half-hearted smiles tell me something just ain't right*  
  
Alanna of Trebond stalked around her room like a caged bird. She couldn't deal with it anymore. She just knew that George was keeping something from her. The way his eyes dart around when he receives news from Corus and half- hearted smiles that he gave her when telling her about the news was even more proof. Alanna had to know, and she was going to find out.  
  
*I've been waiting on you for a long time  
  
Filling up on heartaches and cheap wine  
  
I ain't heard from you in three damn nights*  
  
Alanna crouched outside the study door, her head cocked as she listened for news. She flinched when she realized Coram was in there. Why did they leave her out?  
  
"Are you sure?" Whispered a voice that Alanna was sure that it was George's.  
  
"Positive," Said another earnestly. "A real beauty too. She has the most flawless skin and lips so perfect that they can't be human."  
  
"So Jonathan has found another girl. Don't tell the lass, she's been crazy ever since they've had that fight."  
  
Alanna had heard enough. She fled.  
  
*I put your picture away  
  
I wonder where you've been*  
  
Well, there was her answer. Jon had found another girl. There would be no more wondering where he was or what he was doing. Alanna turned at the sound of footsteps behind her. She stared at George with a new light.  
  
"How much did you hear lass?"  
  
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to him  
  
"Enough," she replied. She gave George a warm smile. George hesitated a moment and kissed her softly on the lips.  
  
"There are other fish in the sea other than Jonathan," he whispered in Alanna's ear. "And this particular fish loves you with all his crooked heart."  
  
"That's nice," whispered Alanna contently. "Kiss me again, George."  
  
*I put your picture away  
  
I wonder where you've been  
  
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to him*  
  
Alanna flinched as she pulled something out of her bag. She had moved her things to George's room, and she was unpacking. The something was a palm sized portrait of Jon. She didn't need to be reminded of him. George loved her, and that was that. She spared one last glance towards Jon's picture, and then she shoved it to the bottom of her bag before George could see. She would deal with it later.  
  
*I saw you yesterday with an old friend*  
  
Jon walked down the streets of Port Caynn with Raoul and Josiane. Josiane was worse than the plague. She clung to him like her life depended on it. Jon had to admit that she was beautiful, but she wasn't Alanna.  
  
"Jon, hello?"  
  
Jon jumped and blushed as he realized that Josiane had been trying to get his attention.  
  
"Is everything alright?" she asked sweetly. "You seem a little preoccupied."  
  
"Oh, I'm fine, Josie. I was just thinking of someone."  
  
Jon saw a flash of red hair in the corner of his eye and half turned. It was gone. He looked around, his heart beating franticly. He was sure that it was he. It had to be her. Jon finally shrugged and turned back to Josiane. He didn't see a pair of violet eyes staring at him for the longest time.  
  
*It was the same old same how have you been*  
  
"Oh, Jonathan dearest, these are beautiful! Can you please get them for me?" Jon smiled at Josiane. He had to get the earrings for her. He was courting her after all.  
  
"Of course, love." Jon quickly bought them and turned to find Raoul. He blinked when he realized that Raoul was talking to a very familiar red- haired someone. Alanna. She glanced at him and turned so her back was to him. She was still mad.  
  
"Hello Alanna," Jon said curtly.  
  
Alanna nodded stiffly.  
  
"How have you been?" He asked, making polite conversation.  
  
"Oh, fine." Alanna replied airily. She blinked back tears. She was not going to cry in front of him. He was only being polite. "You?"  
  
"Alright."  
  
"Well," Alanna shifted uncomfortably. "I should be going. Goodbye Raoul, Highness."  
  
With a curt bow Alanna turned and walked away.  
  
*Since you've been gone my world's been dark and gray  
  
You reminded me of brighter days  
I hoped you were coming home to stay*  
  
Jon stared after her, resisting the urge to call out after her. He wanted to get rid of Josiane and have Alanna run back into his arms. He wanted to hold her again. He wanted his Lioness back. Jon's pride wouldn't let him. Instead he watched the love of his life walk away.  
  
*I was headed to church*  
  
Alanna was mad. She was going to the temple of the goddess to pray when she ran into him. He was with that princess. She was beautiful, alright. She could understand why Jon would pick her over Alanna. Alanna, unable to control herself, ran into an empty alleyway and cried.  
  
*I was off to drink you away  
  
I thought about you for a long time  
  
Can't seem to get you off my mind  
  
I can't understand why we're living life this way*  
  
Alanna awoke sweating. She dreamt about Jon again. She didn't want to think about him. She never wanted to think about him: ever. He was as good as dead. Alanna slipped quietly out of bed, careful not to disturb George, and sat by the window wondering what went wrong.  
  
*I found your picture today  
  
I swear I'll change my ways  
  
I just called to say I want you to come back home*  
  
Where is it? Jon was anxiously looking through his desk trying to find an important document concerning a peace treaty with Marin. Some people would laugh if they saw the heir to the throne of Tortall in such a mess. The usually organized Jonathon was a mess.  
  
Where is it?  
  
Papers were being scattered across the room in a vain attempt to find it.  
  
I need it!  
  
Drawers were overturned and papers dumped on the floor, but Jonathon kept searching. He blinked when he heard a thump. He rooted through the papers and found a frame. He dropped it as if it were made of fire.  
  
Not now!  
  
Jon couldn't believe that he found the picture of Alanna. He thought that it had been destroyed a long time ago. Yet, here it was. He closed his eyes and held the picture close to his heart.  
  
"Come back home." He hoped that Alanna would somehow hear his prayer.  
  
*I found your picture today  
  
I swear I'll change my ways*  
  
Alanna rooted through her bags. She wanted to find her locket. It was one of the few things that she had that had belonged to her mother. George was taking her someplace special tonight and she wanted to look her best.  
  
She winced as her hand came in contact with something hard.  
  
"What's this?" Alanna murmured to herself.  
  
Her eyes widened as she pulled out Jon's portrait.  
  
How did this get in here? She wondered. I thought I got rid of this.  
  
She took a closer look at the picture and let a small sigh escape her lips. He is so handsome. He treated me well, too. Why did I leave him?  
  
"I can change." Alanna said to herself.  
  
She changed into a beautiful green and silver gown and pulled her hair into a knot at the nape of her neck. She put on her locket and smiled dazzlingly.  
  
"I could be queen for you." Alanna whispered to the picture.  
  
*I just called to say I want you  
  
To come back home  
  
I just called to say I love you  
  
Come back home* 


End file.
